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Season 2: Eastbound and Down Chapter 10

Kenny Powers Lines

Kenny Powers Lines

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Why would you do this to me? Here this whole time I thought you were the whore with a heart of gold. Instead you’re just a whore with a real whore’s heart...

These are the most memorable Kenny Powers quotes from this episode, and also include readings from the new, yet to be released audiobook being recorded in Mexico.

I never heard of any of these motherf*ckers. [not even that amigo there?] Who the f*ck is that, Pancho Villa? I don’t know...

Mmm-mmm. No thank you. I don’t like to hear depressing sh*t about no-name dickheads. This sh*t’s f*cking up my vibe. Why are you telling me all this bullsh*t???

Prancing? Roger, name one time when I’ve ever f*cking pranced here, dude. Kenny Powers doesn’t prance...

If you’ve got something you want to say, then just say it. You can save us alot of time with this f*ckin pointless history lesson in this goddamn creepy, uninmpressive, f*ckin hall. I don’t like it in here. It’s gross...

She can call me whatever the f*ck she wants to — look at that brown caboose...

Yeah Stevie, I’m pretty sure the guy I’m looking for didn’t direct the f*cking blair witch project. Just forget you ever heard the name Eduardo Sanchez. Forget that he supposedly lives in a village near here. Forget that he is not Mexican, but a gringo...

Why are you all trying to make me out like I’m goddamn Eric Roberts in Star80? I’m not the one who’s f*ckin possessed here, alright. I’m trying to make a good goddamn album. [I don’t even know who f*cking Eric Roberts is] Yeah, of course you don’t. f*ckin Best of the Best, you asshole...

[song lyrics] I like to buttf*ck fine ladies - will I chokehold a bitch, well maybe - Mmm-hhh - Mmm-hhh...

Why Sebastian, so you can finish eatin’ her pussy???

What am I, the only person not f*cking something tonight???

Go. Scamper. Adios. Ondale. Exito the f*cking house-o now!!!

Stevie you’re on f*cking black ops. There are no girlfriends in black ops...

I don’t like soccer at all...

I can’t believe I opened up my heart up to that bitch. Opened it wide up. And she just squatted with that big beautiful booty and dumped all over it...

Kenny Powers Audiobook: Chapter 10 - Makin’ the World Your Bitch

Kenny Powers Audiobook

Once again I’m with the hottest chick in town, buyin’ the most expensive fashions, dinin’ in the fanciest food places, riding around on goddamn jetskis... Rainin’ trim. Hallucinogens. Jet skis again. Throwin’ heat. And getting laid.

Did this tale end the way I thought it would? Probably not. But as long as I win, who gives a sh*t???

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Kenny Powers Bobble Head

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Kenny Powers and Eastbound & Down are TM & © 2017 HBO. We are not affiliated with HBO, who we hope don't sue us - we just love this show, so hopefully that counts for something...
Any baseball teams referenced are TM & © 2017 MLB Major League Baseball.