Season 3: Eastbound & Down Chapter 20
Episode Guide / Summary
It’s Black Bike Week in Myrtle Beach, and there’s a large black man wearing a skull biker mask, getting very angry at the sight of a Kenny Powers poster above the urinal. But who could it be?
In the clubhouse, the coach is giving the Mermen a pep talk about their upcoming game with their rivals, the Rockingham Ruckus. While warning his players of obnoxious Ruckus fans, the coach is interrupted by Kenny Powers pushing his son into the locker room.
Kenny introduces his son (who he is now proud of), and informs the team he has returned from his hiatus a changed man. Kenny Powers is now unashamed, humbled, and ready to be a part of the team, “willing to do whatever it takes to get back into the good graces of the Mermen.” But the coach is not impressed, and benches Kenny in favor of Ivan Dochenko for the big game.
Leaving the stadium with Toby, Kenny Powers is surrounded by a group of black bikers, being led by Ashley Schaeffer on a cycle with Scott in a sidecar. Kenny Powers is taken off guard by the visit, telling Schaeffer that they are even, which we soon learn they are not. It turns out Kenny Powers has cost Ashley Schaeffer his second car dealership. The Korean owners of Kia were offended by the alluring Japanese geisha Cherry Blossom, and Kenny’s “swashbuckling shenanigans” to rescue him/her. After bantering back and forth, Ashley Schaeffer introduces one more special guest - Reg Mackworthy.
They trade barbs, and you can tell Mackworthy is jealous that Kenny is still able to play baseball. Ashley Schaeffer admits he is trying to start a fight between the two, but the police interrupt, where Mackworthy threatens Kenny that he will be in town all week (seven days, not five).
Back at home, Stevie is busy scrap booking all of his memories of Maria. Kenny makes fun of his fourteen year old activities, and also breaks the bad news that Maria is gone forever. Stevie doesn't think so, and begs Kenny Powers to use his expert women skills to help get Maria back. Kenny lectures Stevie about telling the truth in the first place, and how his own sexual appetite got him into this mess, but does agree to assist his sidekick with some new eyebrows.
At the beach Kenny runs into Ivan, Jacque, and Darnell. Kenny wants to hit the waves with them, and makes an effort to apologize to Ivan Dochenko. He is truly sorry for ruining his 4th of July DJ gig, and burning down Club Celebrations, but Ivan is not having it. Instead of accepting Kenny’s olive branch, he threatens him, saying he is the one going to the majors.
Stevie pulls up to the roadside fruit stand Maria is working at, sporting some freshly glued on eyebrows and wig. Pouring his heart out, Stevie tells Maria that she is the only woman for him, and he will spend his entire life trying to be the man that she deserves. Before she can reply, Stevie and her boss get into an altercation that rips his wig off. Extremely embarrassed, and calling himself a monster, Stevie runs back over to the car, only to find that Toby is missing out of the backseat.
After explaining how he lost Toby, Stevie gets socked in the face by Kenny, and then the phone rings. Mackworthy and his gang, the Grim Creepers, have abducted Toby as a way to force a meeting between he and Kenny Powers at Bob Duato’s great white shark sculpture. They are going to rescue Toby, with Kenny getting Stevie fired up to be a man and not a bald baby. Before their moment of truth, Stevie needs to unglue his eyebrows, while Kenny puts on more street fighting appropriate clothes.
At the rumble, Kenny’s nunchucks and Stevie’s Freddy Krueger claws are no match for the Grim Creepers. Both of them get pinned down, so Mackworthy can now take his revenge on Kenny Powers by smashing his pitching arm with a baseball bat. Before he can strike, Toby’s cry interrupts Mackworthy, who is now having second thoughts. Like the Emperor from Star Wars, Ashley Schaeffer implores Mackworthy to do his bidding, and break Kenny Powers’ arm. When he declines, Schaeffer begins making racist comments that get him in real trouble with the black biker gang.
While Ashley Schaeffer gets beaten and set on fire, Kenny and Reg apologize to each other. They also decide to help each other out — a Grim Creepers escort can get Kenny to the game on time, if he asks his coach to allow Mackworthy to catch. Their convoy makes it to the game in the 9th inning, just as Ivan Dochenko is getting shelled on the mound, and pelted with batteries.
In the Mermen’s darkest hour of need, Kenny Powers and his crew make it down onto the field, to speak to the coach who is trying to make a pitching change. Kenny Powers offers his own assistance, as well as the services of Reg Mackworthy to play catcher. Nobody wants in the game due to the ornery Rockingham Ruckus fans, but Kenny convinces coach that he can thrive in this sort of environment, by harnessing the rage of the opposition’s fans.
Coming in from the bullpen, Kenny Powers begins taunting the Ruckus fans who are littering the field with garbage. He throws middle fingers on his way to the mound, where he drops some science on Ivan Dochenko — “franchise star players are alot like Highlanders, there can only be one.” Feeding off the crowd’s hatred, Ivan’s failure, and Stevie’s second attempt at a Simba lift of Toby in the stands, Kenny Powers goes to work for the one out save.
After strike one, Kenny dedicates the next pitch to Shane Dog, which is also a strike. Before the next pitch, you can see Kenny adjust his fingers to grip that new knuckleball he has been working on. After the hitter whiffs to end the game, we get to hear that famous catch phrase one more time — “you're f*ckin' out!” The stadium goes crazy while the Mermen celebrate on the mound with a jizz-lobbing Kenny Powers, and Maria and Stevie kiss and make up.
Taking in a post-game session on his bodyboard, Kenny Powers is greeted by April Buchanan on shore, who has returned for Toby. April fills Kenny in on where she has been, and apologizes for needing to get away, blaming the difficulties of being a single parent. Kenny knows what she means, proclaiming he has become the best father that has ever existed.
April senses Kenny’s bitterness and hostility towards her, offering to take the baby back for good. Much to her surprise, Kenny does not counter, saying that is exactly what he wants, which is not what April was hoping to hear. Before April leaves with the baby, Kenny Powers takes his passive aggressive stance one step further, telling April he will not forgive her, nor will he miss Toby.
Stevie's Best Moment(s)
Stevie was entertaining throughout this episode, especially showcasing his multiple fashion designs of glue-on wigs and eyebrows.
As penance for losing Toby, and one of the weirdest lines ever uttered on Eastbound & Down, Stevie Janowski offered to buy Kenny Powers shrimp every night for the rest of his life, and let him eat it out of his butthole.
That line was disturbing, but on the lighter side Stevie threatened all of the Grim Creepers with his Freddy Krueger claws:
I hope you brought alot of toilet paper, cause these razor blades are going up your black asses...
Kenny Powers’ Parenting Skills
1. Feed your baby Gerber food, not a bobo-generic brand.
2. Babies don't like cartoons. They prefer military action war films, and teenage oriented horror flicks.
3. Your kid’s favorite toy could very well be a fake Tyrannosaurus Rex with a dildo crammed up its asshole, named Dildosaurus Rex.