Season 3: Eastbound and Down Chapter 17
Episode Guide / Summary
We pick up right where we left off last chapter, with Kenny Powers at the scene of the overdose. He finishes listening to Walk Like an Egyptian while snorting up the leftover cocaine, and pocketing the rest of the pills. After Kenny poses Shane peacefully on the couch reading “I’m F*cking Back”, he steals the keys to his truck.
Back at the house, Kenny informs everyone that Shane died, and also reveals his theory that Toby is cursed. Comparing his own son to Damien from the Omen, he blames Toby for his failed relationship with April, her leaving, his recent outing on the mound, and Shane’s death.
Kenny offers Toby a toy in exchange for lifting the curse, and it seems that he accepts. At the beach Kenny runs into Ivan, where he blames the Russian for Shane’s overdose, and tries to reassert himself as the team leader. At the funeral home, Kenny meets Shane’s family and twin brother Cole, and forcibly offers to perform the eulogy at the funeral.
While the baby’s room is getting its second re-decoration from Stevie, Kenny Powers returns home with his peace offering for Toby - his first pet, a hermit crab named Spurgeon. The following day, the Myrtle Beach Mermen host an on-field memorial for Shane, where Ivan and Kenny continue their feud by loudly shooshing each other during the moment of silence for Shane. Meanwhile Stevie is busy “meditating” at the beach, and there are hints of problems on the home front between Stevie and Maria.
Kenny Powers invites himself over to Shane’s house to help the family mourn, and then takes Cole out for some drinks to discuss feelings and emotional issues. Over some beers, we learn Kenny Powers’ true ulterior motive for hanging out with his twin brother - he wants Cole to channel Shane, so he can give him a pep talk from beyond the grave. After this, Kenny drags Cole over to Kate and Andrea’s dorm room, where he plays a tasteless prank on the girls that Shane is still alive.
On the drive home, Cole has enough of Kenny Powers’ antics, and tells him that he thinks Kenny is an @sshole, and that Shane was a goddamn deadbeat who lived like he was 18 years old. Sound familiar? These comments piss Kenny off so bad that he kicks Cole out “his” truck. After Cole calls Kenny’s bluff on the identical truck story, he fires a parting shot that Kenny and Shane were meant for each other, since they were 2 peas in a pod.
The next morning Kenny rips up the registration card for the truck, and heads to Shane’s funeral with Stevie. Upon arrival, Kenny states that the funeral is not what Shane would have wanted, and heads into the service, about to sink lower than we have ever seen Kenny Powers sink. Like a mannerless Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything, Kenny Powers marches into the funeral with a boombox blaring Candlebox, interrupting the whole ceremony.
Kenny Powers would love to add to the speeches, and he does so with zero tact whatsoever. Kenny uses inappropriate language, insults Ivan, and tells everyone that since Shane died, he was Goose, therefore making Kenny Powers Tom Cruise. At the lowest point of his unwanted eulogy, Kenny performs a visualization exercise of Shane's rotting corpse, exclaiming that Shane now lives through him.
Not only does he have Kenny Powers fuel running through his veins, but he now harnesses all of Shane's powers too. To polish off the most insulting eulogy of all time, Kenny Powers plays Pearl Jam's “Alive”, bellowing out the lyrics proclaiming that “he's still alive”, which finally get’s him chased out of the funeral.
While Kenny was busy embarrassing himself, Stevie stumbled across Shane's sister crying in the car because she was too sad to go inside. One thing led to another, and Stevie ends up cheating on Maria in the front seat of the car. Afterwards Stevie pukes on a tree, but gets left behind by the fleeing Kenny Powers.
Shane's family stops Kenny from driving away with truck, and tells him they know he’s not the owner. After the truck gets repossessed, Kenny realizes that he left his mobile cellular smartphone in the center console, and has Stevie call it. Stevie starts leaving a voicemail, but Kenny is so irritated he smashes Stevie’s phone to pieces.
Feeling dejected, Kenny Powers returns home, but the only person he has to hang out with is Toby. While Stevie is busy getting his tailpipe worked, Kenny reads a bedtime story to Toby. Earlier Kenny’s phone was tossed onto the road by Cole, and now we see a call coming in from April.
Best All-time Worst Moment(s)
Stevie te gusta. This episode did not feature Stevie's best moments, but actually his all-time worst.
First he slapped Shane’s dead face in the casket, exclaiming “I win.” Next he cheated on Maria with Shane's sister, but he was so disappointed in his own bad behavior “he puked himself.” Then after losing a dare bet, he allowed Maria to peg him with a purple vibrator.
Maybe he just felt that he deserved more punishment for his previous actions? And if you didn't know that was going to happen, you must have missed our interview w/ Elizabeth Derazzo.
Kenny Powers’ Parenting Skills
1. Chex Mix and a bowl of water is a very nutritious meal for an infant.
2. Hermit crabs make a great first pet for a one year old.
3. Penthouse can be used for bedtime stories as long as you censor out the adult language with more child friendly words:
After all my years as a traveling salesman, I finally was going to get into the mile high club. When I unzipped my pants, and slipped my pixie stick into her Barbie Dream House I thought I would blow my Big League Chew. Instead, I concentrated on her huge party balloons, and pepperonis. And when I inserted a finger into her Play Doh Factory, I pulled out just in time to shoot my pacifier all over her beautiful shaved — uhhhh, her beautiful shaved — lamp. Then I shook the porridge off of my Lego sword, and smiled warmly, knowing she was satisfied by her shivering baby crib. The end.